Cretin-Derham Hall

We have one life to live, one life to give. It’s in the giving that we receive, in the giving that we make the world a better place. When I was a sophomore at Cretin in 1952 I began to lean heavily toward serving the Church as my life’ vocation. I came to believe that I could make the world a better place if I became a priest, providing that the Church found me to be an acceptable candidate.. So here I am, decades later, still enjoying ministry, its challenges and its joys.

Some things I’ve learned over the years. 1) Parish life is where it’s at. That is where so much good is being done: teaching, healing, helping, working for justice, being communities of hope, faith, and love.  I have seen it here at home, in cental and South America, in Africa, in Europe, in the Middle East. Catholics committed to the Lord, offering their talents and energy to do what Jesus did. Teach, heal, offer hope, build community. In many parts of the world, the Church is the only functioning organization and the only one providing relief and possibilities for a future. 2) The importance of staying positive. Cynicism is a poison that destroys. It can destroy family, friendship, faith, government, business, organized religion, school spirit, teamwork, etc. etc. Cynicism does not make the world a better place. Stay positive. If something is broke, fix it, if its bleeding, heal it. Be a blessing, always.

All Saints Day celebrates the ordinary “saints” all around us, the Christian folk who let themselves be used up, day by day, little by little, making the world a better, kinder place. Reminds me of the elderly Catholic parishioner in East Africa who, after his funeral, a lady remarked to the priest in Swahili, “Ki Saboni”, he went like a bar of soap! He was the “go t0″ guy at the parish, always there and ready to help. Day by day, year after year, with small deeds of kindness and service, he let himself be used up so the world could be a better place. Kinda like our teachers and parents, pastors and good neighbors, fellow parishioners and genuine friends. All Saints.

Open letter to CDH students

From Fr. John Forliti, 9/26/2011

If you felt your school was hijacked by some of God’s children during Homecoming week and would like to do something about it, here are some suggestions. (If you are one of those doing the wrong, this information is important for you, too.)

1)      Confront those who did the misdeeds! Vandalism is a sin, and it’s a crime. Legally, damage amounting to $1,000 or more is a felony in Minnesota and is punishable by a prison term up to five years and fines up to $10,000 (1^st degree) or it can be a misdemeanor (3^rd degree) punishable up to one year in jail and up to $3,000 in fines.

2)      How to confront another student who did wrong? If you know “who done it”, find two or three others to go with you and try your best to convince those responsible for the damage to do the right thing: take responsibility for his/her vandalism, make restitution for it (Note that parents are legally responsible for damages also), admit your guilt to school authorities, and apologize to the student body whose “Pep fest” you stole by your behavior.

3)      If you did wrong, chances are this is not the first time. If so, you have some serious personal work to do on your spiritual and moral side, lest you develop habits that will only land you in deeper trouble later. So, whether the first time or not, do the strong and courageous thing: take responsibility for your misdeeds, fess up and do the healing of the hurts you caused. This is not the end of the world for you, but rather a powerfully good step in the right direction. You will feel better about yourself by taking responsibility and doing restitution.

4)      Students, you’ve heard this: friends do not let their friends drive drunk. Same thing here: friends do not let their friends do harm to themselves or to others or to anyone’s property. True friendship means helping not hurting.

5)      To destroy another’s property or reputation is morally wrong whether or not one is caught, It is a sin and sin acts like a poison in the human heart. It not only eats away the moral fabric of the sinner but eats away at the moral good of the community (school, family, neighborhood, and beyond.).

6)      So, my prayer and hope is that the “non-vandals” will do the right thing and bring healing to the larger community by helping those who made bad choices do the right thing. When evil wins, everybody loses, including those who did the wrong. When truth and honesty win, everybody wins, including those who made the wrong choices. Justice calls for it. So does our Christian faith. 

7)      Listen up, folks! Making moral choices doesn’t get easier as we get older. So, now is the time to grow solid moral muscle. Please be assured that guidance counselors and your chaplain are not involved with discipline, but available to help students think through what’s best.

8)      Parents play a crucial role in CDH’s accomplishing its mission as a Catholic school. Parents who in any way condone destructive behavior by their children or approve of it with silence, share the blame. Curfews were violated, and worse yet, homes and neighbors were violated. Let it never happen again.

We are all God’s children. Let’s do our best to build God’s reign of justice and peace.

Opening Mass 2011

Homily: 

1)      Welcome all: teachers, coaches, administrators, students, everyone to Catholic education. We stand on the shoulders of the men and women who made this school an excellent one. It is time for you and me, all of us here this year, to build on that tradition and be worthy of the calling that is ours.

2)      Opening Mass of the school year. Begin with gratitude to God, your parents, the benefactors who provide tuition aid, teachers and staff who give of themselves so you, the students, will have a meaningful and fulfilling life. The future is now.

3)      We are called, as Catholic Christians, to believe in Jesus Christ and to build up His spiritual Body, the Church. Our Church, with members on every continent all around the world, is held together, as one, under the visible leadership of Pope Benedict, and locally, our Archbishop.  Our Church is nearly 2,000 years old, one of a very few institutions with such a venerable history and enduring past. Like any other institution: family, school, parish, our governments, business, the military, our Church is not perfect. But do not let that stop you from making all our institutions better. Our institutions hold us together as a society. They flourish best with good leaders and responsible followers. As we work together this year, — faculty, staff and students, –every day at CDH we are preparing for the future.

4)      Cretin-Derham Hall is a Catholic school. Members of other Christian denominations and other faith traditions are part of our community. My word to all of us gathered here today is this: be who you are. And become better at being who you are.  If you are Lutheran or Baptist, Assembly of God, Methodist, Pentecostal, Muslim, Presbyterian, Unitarian, United Church of Christ, Eastern Orthodox, Episcopalian, or non-denominational, and, yes, 92% of us are Roman Catholic, let’s be who we are. Our first reading today urges us to become more worthy of the sacred calling to follow Jesus, to learn and to live our Catholic faith. With humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another through love, striving to preserve the unity of the spirit through the bond of peace.

5)      I am a student of history and I have a deep appreciation of the tremendous good that organized religion has done for humanity, to make the world a better place. If you feel drawn into the popular but foolish trend to bash your Church or any organized religion, don’t! You and I do not like it when someone trashes the reputation of our family or school or nation. We should not tolerate bashing of our religion, whatever denomination or religious faith we belong to. .

6)      I want to challenge everyone here today as we begin this school year. Ever since Moses and the Ten commandments, believers in God have kept the Sabbath and Sunday holy. I beg you, no matter what others do, choose to put God first by worshipping with your faith community every week.

Baccalaureate 2011 CDH by John E. Forliti

My boat is so small and the sea is so big!

On days of calm and gentle wind, the breezes of the past and the anticipation of what lies ahead are enough to move me beyond the present. The exact landing may be as fluid as the cushion beneath me, but at least I am headed in the right direction, thanks to those who have loved me –teachers, parents, friends– into a person that I now call my own.

As the winds blow and my sails fill with the strange combination of excitement and uncertainty, I may stand at the helm with soft hands and untrained eyes peering into an ever changing future, but I stand grateful, grateful for faith that has brought me thus far, grateful for hope that has sustained and helped steer, grateful for love that continues to give birth and nurture.

My boat is small, the sea is so big!

Surely, storms lay ahead, clouds predicting rough seas. My heart, once still, begins to beat faster, fears rear their ghostly faces and I pray my way into and through the unsettled time. They will surely come, those times of struggle and doubt, of apprehension and tense nerves. I look within my soul for strength, and I appeal to others whose lives are weathered, their skin leathered. They made it. So shall I!

Whenever I grasp the anchor of faith, it serves me well, like a faithful friend. Having held me steady before, it will do so again. Over the years we have become close, my God and I, living daily in each other’s presence. I do not forget  that Jesus is with me, as He was with his disciples in the stormy waters, always ready, waiting for my call. I have learned that the anchor that holds best is not the one made of steel, but rather the bonds made strong by Word and Sacrament, thick threads woven between Creator and creature,  Bread broken daily and shared , the profound belief that nothing can come between me and the love of Jesus Christ.

Sadly, some anchors are not strong enough to hold in the midst of turmoil. Neglected, taken for granted, stored in places of the heart too far from the action, they fail to measure up at times of need. Not so, faith in Jesus Christ, not so a faith that has been born and nourished in community, not so a hope holding fast to the Holy One’s promise, not so the love that has been fed on the Bread of life, faithfully, every Lord’s day.

And so, graduates of Cretin-Derham Hall, pay attention to the anchors in your life. Keep them adequate to the tasks that lie ahead. As the seas you traverse get larger –and they will—your anchors must be more dependable. As the seas get rougher, -and they will — your anchors must be strong enough to keep you steady. I pray that each of you holds the anchors of your Christian faith and Catholic tradition in high regard. They will serve you well as you venture from the safe harbors of family and CDH into the open seas. Take with you the commission of Jesus: go out and bear fruit, fruit that will last. BON VOYAGE!  Congratulations, and God be with you.

The Triduum is the Latin word for the three high holy days of our Catholic tradition. Holy Thursday, Good Friday, and the Easter Vigil each has its own special blessing and grace. Thursday celebrates the Last Supper and brings home the profound meaning of the Eucharist. Plus, the washing of feet ritual calls us to service of one another, as Jesus demonstrated. Friday’s focus is the passion and crucifixion of Jesus. This liturgy brings home how great God’s love is for us. The meaning of the cross can be taken for granted, we see them so often. Friday’s grace pulls us into a new and deeper realization of God’s willingness to bear our burden and conquer sin, suffering and even death. The Vigil is especially powerful when there are candidates to be initiated into the Church. The Mystery we have been born into is rich in meaning and blessings. If we open our minds and hearts to the readings, the symbolism, the sacred actions taking place, we will know the feeling of being renewed in God’s Spirit.

Research tells us that porn is far and away predominantly a male addiction. With Internet porn now available to anyone,  sexual addiction is becoming a national crisis. Advice to CDH students: STAY AWAY FROM PORN. It is easily addictive, especially for boys and men, meaning the more you view it the more you need it, and the deeper you sink. Why avoid porn? 1) Porn weakens your capacity to form healthy relationships now and healthy sexual relationships later. Viewing porn leads males to de-value sex,  boys and men being  more likely to view women as objects, as possessions to be used for the male’s convenience and pleasure rather than respected as equals.  2) Similar to other addictions, such as alcohol and drugs, addiction to porn takes  control of your life. You lose freedom, you end up wasting time feeding the addiction.  Time is  better spent developing and enjoying friendships, becoming successful in your career,  getting better grades in school, and lots more.   3) As with other addictions, addition to porn costs money and leads to compulsive behaviors that feed the addiction.  Porn addicts may have begun viewing porn out of curiosity, but as the addiction takes hold, it tends toward more violent and sadomasochistic material.  And consumes more and more viewing hours.

How to avoid porn addiction. 1) Curb your curiosity at the start. Porn addicts admit that 5 minutes led to 20, then to an hour and before long,  the better part of a day. 2) Learn about and take seriously the negative effects of porn addiction. Your sexuality is one of God’s great gifts. Don’t let yourself be hi-jacked into habits that destroy a genuine, wholesome  appreciation of it.  3) When you feel bored or lonely, look for legitimate, moral outlets to give your time and energy to.  The old saying, “an idle mind is the devil’s workshop” is right on. 4) Internet porn is the fastest growing addiction among teens and young adults. Governments are helpless in curbing pornography which means you, the individual, have to discipline yourself to avoid becoming addicted.

This topic is complex but I would like to offer several points for consideration 1) Sexual abuse is morally wrong and also a crime. There may be explanations but certainly no excuse. 2) Abuse of children by a priest is a tragic reminder of  his humanity. In every community, leaders are rightly held to the highest of moral standards and thus their failures draw greater attention and disdain. But there is something more tragic when the abuser is a priest because of the spiritual relationship a clergy person has with church members.  3) The 4% of US priests who have committed these sinful crimes have brought sadness and guilt-by-association to the 96% who have not erred in this way. 5) Bishops and other Church authorities who valued institutional reputation over care of the victims did wrong, thus resulting in even greater harm to the Church’s reputation. 6) The recognition that sexual abuse could be an addiction is a relatively recent discovery. When I was growing up in the 1940′ and “50’s, if a priest drank too much he might be tagged a “drunk”, but not an alcoholic. So, it was not unusual for  a Bishop to reassign him to perhaps a “better environment” where he would not have the problem. Over time, abuse of alochol for some chemical abusers came to be recognized as an addition, not just a moral failure.  Some time later sexual abuse also became recognized as a possible addiction. ( One of the first books on this was Patrick Carnes THE SEXUAL ADDICTION, published in 1983).  Some priests who were reassigned after treatment for sexual abuse were approved for reassignment by their treatment professionals. Then they abused again. The professional community was learning that they were dealing with addiction in many cases, not merely human failure.  It is generally recognized today that addictions can be managed but not cured. So priest pedophiles are now excluded from ministry. 7) The US Catholic Bishops learned all too slowly the painful lessons of the abuse crisis and evantually established national policies, procedures and practices that put the protection of the young as top priority. The VIRTUS program requires background checks, and in great detail provides a systemic approach for the prevention of abuse in church-related envirnoments. False accusations have been made against some bishops (eve an American Cardinal) and priests. Because of the failure of the Church early on in the crisis, Catholic Bishops today tend today to consider any accusation as credible and thus the accused is, for all practical purposes, presumed guilty until proven innocent. Though unfair to the American mentality, it seems a wise approach at this juncture in the Church’s life.  9) Why all the publicity when priests are the abusers when in fact, other professionals -teachers, coaches, counselors, etc. have a higher percentage of violators and do not get the similar publicity in the media? The Catholic Church is global so crimes committed by clergy anywhere are considered to have local interest. Also, and rightly so, ministers are expected  to operate at the highest of standards.  10) At one time in the crisis, repessed memories were usually acepted as true. More recently, the professional community has come to realize that this may not always be the case, given human capacity to imagine, or mix memories, or grow confused over time.

These reflections merely touch some of the stuff of the clergy abuse crisis. What is most important in all of this is that victims be cared for, that abusers be stopped and helped as much as possible, and that all organizations in our society learn from the mistakes and failures of the Catholic community so that the lessons of the past bring greater good to the future.

Hot off the press, TEN ANCHORS is a book I wrote during my recent sabbatical. It’s my reflection on ten dimensions of the Roman Catholic experience, each one a positive help in “navigating the sea of life.” A short read (76 pages), one reviewer liked the way it touches both head and heart. Written with young Catholics primarily in mind,  TEN ANCHORS will be appreciated by Catholics of all ages. Now available at St. Patrick’s Guild stores and at St. Olaf book store (downtown Mpls.) AND THE RAIDER RACK AT CDH. Also available from Lulu.com and soon to be available on Amazon.com and barnesandnoble.com.  See  reviews on Lulu.com, TEN ANCHORS by John E. Forliti. http://www.stpatricksguild.com

The real meaning of Christmas: God has sent a text message to you, me and all the world. Simply powerful: Jesus is the Word of God, our Creator’s message in the flesh, texting I LOVE YOU!” MAY THE BLESSINGS OF OUR LOVING GOD BE EMBRACED WITH GRATITUDE THIS HOLY DAY SEASON.